I love/hate my food journal
Sunday night. Always a rough time for me. I used to call it staring down the barrel of a loaded work week. Lay down my head and next stop will be Friday night.
I ate too much today. Actually not today, I ate too much tonight. I logged it all in the food journal. Saddest part was it was only 300 calories. My epic old day binges ran into the 1,000’s of calories. That’s the part I love about the food journal. The part I hate is that it means accepting the weight is my own fault. It was soooo much easier to lie to myself and just say, “I don’t eat THAT much. I just can’t lose weight!”
I’m starting to see that as an ongoing pattern. Starve and then go nuts. I’ve got a seperate journal for exercise. Pretty much the same thing. I tend to do good for a week or two. By the end I’m doing a 2+ hour workout and then basically burn out. Boom week off.
When I’m bummed I naturally assume that I’ve eaten ungodly amounts of garbage. Then I say to heck with it and just EAT! Now I get out the journal and it turns out that I actually haven’t eaten enough. Last time I quite journalling my food, I slipped down to 600 calories for two days and then basically went food crazy on the third and fourth. I went back and journalled everything as best I could from memory. 600 calories a day makes it pretty easy to remember.
Weight wise I’ve been lucky the last couple weeks. Now I’ve gotta get consistent. I like 45 minutes to an hour on the treadmill. I just need to take a break from the marathons for now. It’s just not worth it if I’m gonna burn out and take a week off.
Food-wise, I’m going back to octo-vegetarian. I’m still cheating on the protein by supplementing with soy protein shakes. Nobody’s perfect. I caved in and ate meat the last few weeks. With all of the problems, I just wasn’t up to the planning. That’s all the veggie thing is to me; planning. I pack raw, low calorie foods for work. Fruits and vegetables that are premeasured. Every break, I eat. The hardest part is honestly not skipping eating. A three hundred pound guy who’s doing a physical job requires quite a bit of rabbit food to keep the ole motor running along.
k. time to give up and go to bed. argh.
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Kevin,
First off, BRAVO for faithfully tracking the food and exercise. It gives a MUCH different picture of what’s occurred than hindsight, doesn’t it?
Secondly, do you remember my last blog “Why am I FAT?” ? One of the things I said was something along the lines of “My parents were right, ‘Everything in Moderation’”
Well, eat right, exercise right, and do everything in moderation such that you’re not “starving” or “burning yourself out”. That really helps curb the “rebounds.”
Hang with it, you’re making a LOT of progress.
Hey Kevin,
I loved hearing about your journals! I keep a gratitude journal with five things I am grateful for each day. And a note about my overall attitude. That has been a real turning point for me. It helped me break my pattern of look just at what didn’t go right that day. Good luck with your journaling…and remember, it about the journey not the destination!
Have a good trip (smile)
Rae
The journal works if you work it, you’ve found that out, me too Buddy!
Good for you, you are doing a great job! And I wouldn’t worry about the meat, a big guy like you needs protein and a big guy like you with a physical job really needs the protein! Is the vegetarian thing important or just something you are trying on to see how it fits and works for you? Maybe you will find that a low fat protein choice such as fish, eggs and chicken will serve you better, if you don’t have a real attachment or need to do the veggie thing. Best Wishes either way!
I’m a little late with this one, but I can totally relate where you’re coming from on the starve/binge thing. Right there with ya lol! Keep up the good work with the food journal..it really does help keep me accountable! Have a great weekend!
