Non sum qualis eram

I guess I jumped the gun.  This is the kind of luck I’ve been having.

It’s supposed to rain for the rest of the week.  Between work and having the kids this weekend, this is probably my last chance to mow for the week.  Okies, no problem.  I just need to get gas for the thing.

The van’s low on gas.  I can’t see the purpose of filling the van and then turning around and going back to the station to fill the gas can.  So, I push it a little.  I come home after work (about 30miles) and grab the gas can.  Okay, I know the only station in town is getting new pumps installed.  No problem, there are two gas stations on the interstate outside of town.  One of them keeps weird hours but the other one is 24 hours and has pay at the pump.  Turns out that some time in the 2 months since I got gas there that both of them shut down.  COMPLETELY shut down.

I get to choose between 8 miles on the highway or 8 miles interstate to get to the nearest towns.  I chose highway.  Last thing I need at this point is bumper to bumper five pm traffic on the interstate.

I make it home and fire up the mower.  Things are going swimmingly.  Neighbors dog is yapping at me.  Thing hates me even though I’ve never been anything but nice to her.  I think she thinks that I’m hurting the kids whenever I wrestle with them.  I honestly think that’s what it is.  No matter lawn is getting mowed.  Then… fap, fap, fap…  somethings hitting in the mower.  Pieces of the belt start flying out like little pieces of fluff and then the rest of the belt goes flying by!

I did 20 minutes on the treadmill and supper is in the oven.  It’s healthy.  I’ll finish the lawn next week.

Finally!  Ever since the break up nothing has gone right.  I mean NOTHING.  Last week the window on the van cracked.  How?  We’ll never know.  It was parked at work facing a wide open field.  I sat in it at lunch and when I came back two and half hours later it was cracked.  The way the parking lot is set up, someone would’ve seen if anyone did it.  Best I can figure is that it’s collateral from the two deer I’ve hit since the break up.  Maybe some kind of chip along the edge that cracked in the sun.  Mebbe it’s just the bad mojo.  I don’t know.  That’s just the luck I’ve been having.   Just dunno.

After the breakup, one of the first things I did was try and look up the ex ex.  The girl I was engaged to like 12 years ago.  No luck.  She dropped off the face of the Earth!  I’m not looking to “look her up” or anything.  That one ended for a whoooole lot of good reasons.  I was just curious how things turned out.  Like I said, NOTHING.  I thought I saw her a couple of times when I went back home to see my parents.  So I’d come home and search a little bit.  Nothing.  It was just frustrating.

Tonight I’m just looking some stuff up on the net and decided to try her name in a few places.  BAM!  She’s there.  Phone number and everything.  I’m not gonna call it.  I really have nothing to say to her even after all of these years.  It’s just very peculiar how it happened.  I mean it’s standard phone books and stuff.  Things that had to be there 6 months ago.  She’s all over the place just like the rest of us.

It’s like some kind of wall just broke.

Superstitious and probably bordering on insane but I’ll take it.  I’ll use any excuse to motivate myself.  The bad thing about my ex is that she really never did care if I’m fat or not.  Nobody I know really does.  Now my ex ex…  If I ever bump into her, I’m gonna need to be doing better than this.  I refuse to let her see me like this.  Add to that the fact that my brother just lost 90 pounds and I may be able to finally build some pressure.

Like I said, I’ll take it.

Kevin

Okay, so I swore off meat this week.  It’s not a political statement or anything life altering.  I’ve just come to the realization that I need a certain size of meal to “fill up” whatever it is that I seem to need to “fill up”.  Meat portions are just so.. small?!?  Take out the meat from the equation and it actually takes quite a bit of food to get your daily caloric intake.  I’m cutting out as much processed food as possible, too.  The only tough part is making sure I get in my daily protein and a couple of other things.  I’m supplementing with a couple protein shakes and some other stuff.

Technically, it’s octo-lacto-vegetarian.  I’m allowing for eggs, milk and honey.  Baby steps.

On other news, it seems I’m growing a beard.  Not really.  I just haven’t shaven in a while and I guess that’s the same as growing a beard.  It’s kinda funny how that works.  Kinda like how you can poke at the fat and try to lose it all you want and it still doesn’t work.  Turns out that you’ve gotta do all of this other stuff that seems just so.. unrelated.  I mean, just what does exercising and not eating Luther burgers have to do with buying smaller clothes.  Next thing you’ll tell me is that you can get a runny nose by not washing your hands.  Or that you can become a daddy by drinking too much Jack.  We won’t even get into the rash. 

Ollie ollie oxenfree!  I’m going to bed before I turn into a pumpkin.