Monday Monday
Spent the morning obsessing about the past. Keeping your mind occupied is an important part of my job. The holes were in the right place and the hole pattern was good. I’ve literally ran 100’s of these parts. There’s really not much surprise left in ‘em. So, I kinda let my mind wander. The past is actually one of the more normal places it’s went. 
My last two exes (which cover pretty much all of my adult relationships) were the same height. I’m the same height. One of the shocking things about seeing the ex ex the other week was how SMALL she was. I mean, I recognized the clothes she was in from when we were together. I know from pictures I have that we were on a comparable scale. I guess I never appreciated how small that was for me.
What really kept running through my mind today was the dreaded “What if?”. What if I wouldn’t have bailed? What if I would have finished? At 230 I got my confidence back. I was reaching the point where just about every pound made a difference. I’m still not sure what my final weight is gonna be. I’ve set my current goal for 215 just because that’s about a hundred down from when I started. It’s also just about the end of what I can even realistically fathom. Anything beyond that is just unknown territory.
Well today’s obsession was the “What if?”. I know that there aren’t any “do overs” in life, but I can do the next best thing. I know I’m getting ahead of myself but I’m actually excited about getting to 215 now. I wanna see what’s on the other side. If the low 200’s was that much fun (before the stupidity caught up with me), then how amazing are the sub 200’s?
Ah, whatever. Main point is that I think I’m actually finding my motivation. There are worse things than getting to my goal and then finding out the only reason I got there was because I was a complete nutter. I’ll take it.
Fixed the mower and mowed the lawn, so I’m running late. I’m off to hit the treadmill. I should get done with enough time to watch Sweeney Todd. Hope it doesn’t make me too hungry. I heard it’s got meat pies in it.
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I am glad you are finding your motivation. A little worried about the Sweeney Todd thing though….Next thing you will be watching is Silence of the Lambs
Great goal - totally doable - you are on the right track -
Just remember, if you want to move forward it’s not a good idea to spend too much time looking in the rear view mirror. That’s how you run into trouble.
Keep up the good work, you’ll get to your goal!
Mmmm, meat pies….
Thanks for the invite, I’ve been following your blogs.
Regarding finding your motivation. Many years ago I was motivated to lose weight in order to meet women. Period. That worked to get the weight off (and to meet my wife) but it did little to teach me anything about living healthy or losing weight because it was *good* for me.
Today, I find myself motivated to be healthy because it’s the right thing to do. I want to live long, not be burden to my kids or wife later on in life, and to be able to spend better quality time with friends and family.
I think finding the right motivation is key to long term success. I’m sure you’ll be successful. Just don’t overthink it too much… like I have a tendency to do.
Yeah. Lost quite a bit of weight twice. First time over women. Second time over A woman. Admittedly a recipe for disaster. I am working on that. I think that’s why I’m working so hard at finding other motivations. Yeah, that’s kinda my other lil addiction.
As for overthinking. Yep, that’s me to a t.
You can do this, but do it for you, not for another woman. You have to be happy with you first. Sounds like you’re on the right track.
Wish I could find mine! Ah…
Thanks for commenting on my blog!!!!
xxx