Non sum qualis eram

I tried out the indoor track thingie.  I’m glad I made it bigger.  11 laps is 1/5 of a mile.  So, I broke it down by fifths.

ran 1/5.  walked 2/5.  ran 1/5. walked 1/5.  ran 1/5. walked 1/5. and then ran a lap just to prove I could do it.

Grand total.  3/5th of a mile running.  4/5th of a mile walking.  1 2/5th miles total.  I’m gonna finish out Thurday and

Friday to get a base line.  Then I’m gonna try to do it rested on Saturday or Sunday to see what I can do total.  Last time I

did any running was in high school.  That was about 18 years ago and I wasn’t too good at it then.

I rewarded myself with a diet caffeine free pepsi…  I don’t think I’m gonna finish it.  ugh!

I think that’s part of my motivation for now.  I’d really like to be able to get out and run this spring.  I’ve always

dreamed about it but just never really took it seriously.  I’m gonna need better shoes.  Anyone know where to find size 11

double wides?  Dang hobbits feet.

On the motivation front, I’m working on a new paradigm. (big word, huh?) Basically, there are negative motivators and

positive motivators.  A positive motivator works to reach goals.  A negative motivator busts butt to keep his tail out a

sling.  Think.  Do you get all motivated after a weigh-in or before one?  Are you really trying to have a good weigh-in or

avoid having a bad one.  Most people like to think they’re positive motivators, but they’re not.  I’m definitely not.  I’m

definitely a negative motivator.  Therefore, I need to figure out what bogeyman is gonna get me running.

This is what I’m working on.  It may not be all technically correct, but this is motivation not brain surgery.

Your body is like an engine.  It’s constantly burning fuel/fat.  If you hustle, your metabolism kicks into high gear and you

burn faster.  Crash in front of the boob tube and it burns slower.  It’s still burning fat, but it just takes longer.

Don’t eat anything or eat too little and the engine sputters and runs less efficiently.  Again it still burns, but it takes

longer.  Eat too much or eat the wrong food and the engine revs, but it burns the new easy fuel instead of the fat you’re

wanting to burn.  Eventually you’ll get back to burning the fat you want, but like any overworked engine you can expect it to

run less efficiently until it gets back on track.  Wasted time burning all of that easy fuel and then more while your

crashing from the easy fuel (sugar).

What I’m getting at is that I’m gonna be 36 this year.  Not old by a long shot, but old enough that I’m finally starting to

see the white hairs.  I’ve been fat for almost my whole life.  I don’t like it, but it doesn’t scare me.  I’m just starting

to sense my mortality.  That scares the bejiminies out of me.  There are soooo many things I want to do and the clock is

ticking.

I have a good metabolism.  If I have a bad day, I can play catch up.  It’s just gonna take a few days, a week on the outside.

Do it enough and I’ll be blogging this at 70.  Actually, do it enough and I may not be healthy enough to make 70.

Sorry if this sounds so pessimistic, but I am officially prepared to do whatever it takes at this point.

So, eat to fuel the engine.  Push it hard.  Keep it stoked.

Kevin