Non sum qualis eram

“Non sum qualis eram”, Latin for “I am not as I was”  I found that on the interweb and it pretty much describes me these days.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing.  What I was is what got me where I am today.  It’s kind of a day to day realization of who I am and what I am these days.  That’s the bs I need to figure out before I’m gonna find my motivation.  The one that works at both 10am and 10pm and every other hour of the day.

In that vein, I decided to make a few more changes.  I updated my myspace.  I mainly use it for the messenger.  I also went back and removed a lot of blogging about my ex.  I’m gonna let it go.  Time to just let it go.

I had the kids this weekend and she decided to visit friends this weekend.  So, I let her have the couch again.  It went pretty well.  I’ve decided that’s prolly not a bad thing.  We’re both definitely becoming our own person.  We still tend to think of the same things at the same time and we can still usually finish each other’s sentences.  It’s just becoming more and more obvious that we’re through.  I just can’t imagine being married to her at this point.  I’m not sure where I’m headed in this world, but I ain’t a gonna get there with her.

Last week, I found out some interesting news at work.  Usually the company we subcontract for switches their line from one product to another every 6 months or so.  We contract for one product but not so much for the other.  That means an insane 6-7 months followed by a slow period during the spring and summer.  It’s not a bad situation.  Problem is that they’re only gonna switch to the other product for about a month and a half this year.  Since there’s an inventory ramp up and down involved…  Basically, I may be at 11 or 12 hours for most of the next year.  I’ve now had 6 Saturdays off in the last 6 months.  I may not get that many more in the next 6 months.  :0  It’s either an opportunity or an open ended ticket to h**l.  I’m trying to look at the positive side of it.  I could (in theory) make more money this year than in any other year so far.  That’s a heck of a stake in a new life if I survive it. 

I’m still counting calories and struggling to keep motivated.  By the time I have a chance to get on here in the evening, I’m pretty much worn out.

Spring is coming.

Kevin