Non sum qualis eram

This is the first weekend I had off to myself w/o the kids in months. It was only like the 4th Saturday I’ve had off in the last 6 months. To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure what to do with myself.

I did get back on the treadmill and do the other 2.5 miles on Friday night. I finished the meltdown by getting just righteously p****ed off. I don’t know about women, but that works great as a guy. Anger is a motivator. It’s a good thing I live in a big house on the edge of town, though. I was singing along with the music by the end… kinda loud. If anyone comes to the door while I’m at that, I’m sure I’ll officially become that crazy guy who lives on the edge of town. Well, one of the crazies at least.

I know that nooone outside could hear beyond the driveway. Since we were doing foster care when we bought the house, I checked during one of my son’s early on epic tantrums. 10 months old and less than happy about missing the only family he’d known. The only thing we could do was keep him comfortable and rock him through the tantrums. During on of those, I walked out around the outside of the house. Sound just doesn’t make it far out of this old bunker of a house. I checked again when Jenna came home. Between all of the infections and stuff, she brought whole new decibels to the whole tantrum thing.

I went to the movies yesterday. Watched 2 in a row. Predator vs. Aliens: Requiem and The Golden Compass. Both okay. Nothing awe inspiring. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years now but just never had the time to do. Although I would’ve loved it 5 years ago. It turns out that I’m just not that into sitting in one place anymore. Spent the second half of Compass with my behind getting more and more sore.I need to figure the bills again. I’ve got everything paid up current. I’ve been putting daily expenses on the credit card while I’ve been waiting on getting my head back together. It’s up to 4 or 5 grand. Somehow, over the last six months I’ve put up about 8 grand in checking to pay it off with. Vegas anyone?

A total fresh start. I simply do not enjoy the same things I did clear back when I was single the first time. I’m quickly finding out that I don’t enjoy most of the things that I did while I was married. I’m seriously thinking of volunteering at work. It’s fairly hard work, especially at the 11th and 12th hour.

Well, that’s where I’m at today. I spent today clearing stuff out of the fridge. Stuff that I’ve successfully kept away from but haven’t thrown away until now. Most of it is probably bad, anyway.

Kevin