Non sum qualis eram

Sounds like a terrible start, but it’s realistic.  I have the kids every other weekend and I tend to melt down after I take them back to their mother’s.  I’m being good today, but not counting calories.  My sole goal today is to just not binge after I drop them off.  Then I’ll have 2 weeks to get myself on track before the next roller coaster.  Starting today would’ve just been emotional suicide.  Tomorrow, it gives me something to focus on rather than dealing with the suddenly empty house.

We’ve all gotta start somewhere. Well, in this case start over. It’s the same old story. Five years of fertility treatments. Four years to adopt 3 children. Then six months later, I’m losing some weight but her’s is sky rocketing. So, she get’s “the surgery”. Three months later, she leaves. Four months later, I’m on my way back up. Way, way up.  I’m at 298#.  I said I’d never break 300# again.

Today, I’m not happy.

We’ve all gotta start somewhere.